.

and alone and terrified.

That’s what you call them? In my neck of the woods we refer to them as the “Well, My Black Friend™ Thought That Joke Was Funny” delegation.

Trump: *squints intensely at eye chart for a solid five minutes* “...E!”

I have never said this about another human.

Do they make Big Mac flavored Metamucil these days for Our Favorite Big Boy POTUS?

“Mr. President, it appears that there’s someone out there who’s an even bigger and better asshole than you.”

HAVE A GREAT LIFE! Be careful, there are many pitfalls on the long and winding road of life!

You kidding? He’s looking GREAT these days! The pancake makeup to hide his pallor, the rapid weight gain in his chin-neck, the luggage rack under his eyes, the increased stress-induced doddering — I don’t know what his current health and wellness regimen is these days but KEEP IT UP, DONNIE!

Not to mention, is the zipper on those clown pants roughly two feet long? Is that normal for Big & Tall trousers?

“...while incentivizing job growth within —”

“Again, sorry Mr. Speaker, but just for copy editing purposes, when you say ‘Cut Cut Cut Act,’ should that be with hyphens or without?”

“Relax, it was a joke”

As a lifelong Knicks fan, I can assure you plenty of us have been saying that for years now.

There was some blog post floating around recently (maybe I read it here...fuck...too much going on anymore) where one of these Facebook Hitler cosplay groups were instructing their shitass readers how to dress, why they should start working out, blah blah blah in order to get “groupies.”

“When The Timbertoes send their people, they’re not sending their best Timbertoes...”

Aidy Bryant

Whatever it is, Trump just proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s the best at it, and everyone’s talking about how, a lot of people assumed Trump wouldn’t be the best at that beautiful, very, very, very beautiful machine but I think he proved the haters and losers wrong, bigly, and folks

Thank you — had to scroll way too far down here to see someone call Ivan out on that “deep state” Breitbart horseshit. Shocked he didn’t drop a Benghazi or three.

Look, I’m sure some of you here like it for whatever reason, but can golf just FUCKING DIE already? The pic at the top of the article should be reason enough that the worst fucking people on the planet tend to LOVE golf.

Yep, the ol’ “Why should this all be my responsibility? After all, they’re the ones parading around in burkas being all Muslim in a free society and scaring me! Ball’s in your court to prove I’m not really a bad guy, victims!” defense that’s so prevalent in this class of garbage* people who’ve never once had to answer…