Can confirm: I was the Burger King cashier who sold the guy all the pies and actually said, "Dude! You should totally eat one of those lava-filled pies in front of that kid's mom and then post about this on a site that actually has a whole section calling out bullshit stories (r/thathappened) like this but not before…

I knew there was city called Jacksonville, but had no clue it was in Florida. And I have an IQ of roughly 10 billion, so I was totally on the honor roll.

Holy shit — how is that even possible??? Is there some niche industry there I don't know about?

I always assumed it was in Mississippi growing up.

Joke's on you — you live in Jacksonville.

I hope that guy was clever enough to purposely use a Winn Dixie bag instead of Publix. Only the shittiest southeastern grocery chains deserve to be seen at a Jaguars game.

I was born and grew up in Florida and didn't know Jacksonville was a city in the state until I was in high school. Granted, part of that was a result of the Florida public school system, but I've run into other Florida natives throughout life who have a similar story. Ask 100 people to list five major cities in…

But Correia's the ace of the staff! Or is that Nolasco? Or Hughes? It's hard to keep track of whichever 3rd/4th-in-the-rotation-on-any-other-team starter the Twinkies are banking on these days.

Wait — FOUR HOURS?! Of watching shitheads in Oakley Blades play cards?! Please tell me I'm missing the sarcasm here.

Damn-fucking-straight! That list should be: 1. Mango 2. Everything else because dried fruit is awful except for dried Mango 3. Rasins

I like that there are refs involved. They seem very necessary to all of this.

One of my faves...

I don't watch a lot of boxing, but help me out here — when your face/scalp essentially detach from your skull and shift 45-degrees to the left like Geale's did, you die, right? Like, did I miss an earlier story about Geale's face/scalp detaching from his skull and dying?

Agreed. And a Manchester pun too.

Right on schedule, "Brenda."

I'm surprised Ghana's not in the top 25 because, like you, why am I even looking at this like I know shit about soccer beyond what just happened at the World Cup?

And another shot of Boner...

Maybe it's just me, but I've found that, on most AHS threads, most people didn't like season 1 (schmaltz in a bad way — I personally loved it), frickin' LOVE season 2 (which I thought was nonsensical hot garbage that I stopped watching halfway through, but again, that's just my personal opinion) and are mixed on…

Thank you, fellow season 1 fan. Feel like we are few and far between.

"Go on..."