Can we please at least try and stay focused on the real story here, which of course is HAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU AND YOUR BULLSHIT "FANS" MIAMI MAY YOU BECOME THE CUBS OF THE NBA!!!

Impossible! You can't divide by zero.

SPOILER ALERT: It doesn't sound good.

...and thus the "Extremely Photogenic Idiot" meme was born.

#NotAllSportswriters

Because you guys are the only town upstate that doesn't refer to them as "Steamed Hams," obviously.

I guess I liked the part with the guy who's clearly dead getting his head kicked in best?

You are currently the owner of a lonely star.

Yeah — can you follow-up on this? Was it something stupid like having your accounts wide-open with tons of "Hey, lookit how drunks I am!!1!!" pics, or was it something more benign like "Why is this dude a Facebook fan of Collective Soul? Pass."

If "#VomitMom" isn't a shitty grindcore band name by EoD everyone has failed.

Using that logic, AJ Pierzynski is going to live to be 150.

I'm under the assumption he's focusing more on his music than acting these days.

Steve sounds excited about it!

Anyone mention Rygar yet? Not even sure if it was difficult — I just never had a clue what to do in that game. The soundtrack was awesome tho.

Co. Fucking. Signed. I could play the entire game blindfolded up until the final boss. Never beat him, never will.

Imagine being the guy/girl whose job it is to say with a straight face, "Great job out there! You were really entertaining! And your outfit was great and doesn't make you look like you're trying REALLY hard!" to any of these people once they got off stage. God, what a nightmare job that must be.

*sigh* Okay. Thanks...

Then fucking do something about it!!! Christ, I know midterms are coming up and you have to keep playing the role, but after that you're a lame duck with nothing to lose — can you please spend the next two years dropping the hammer on our out of control gun culture?!

I like — no, make that LOVE — that I live in a country where an adult who goes by the name "Joe the Plumber" actually said something like that, and then a bunch of other adults were all "Yeah! That's a GREAT point! Let's run with that one! Maybe that'll shut up the liberals once and for all! Rock-solid reasoning!"