The Sinbad movie Shazam was way better anyway.

Take it easy on the guy. I’ve heard he’s got a lot of personal ghosts to deal with.

But who the hell goes to rehab for fucking steroids?

I assume Theismann was just in a rush to publish a tweet comparing their respective fates, but I don’t want to make any snap judgments.

Finally, Richard Sherman admits to pass interference.

In Cleveland you have to be the first to find and administer a life-saving shot of adrenaline directly to the heart of an overdosed Brownie the Elf somewhere in the Flats to win tickets.

Thank god. For a while there I thought I was being racist for thinking all the winners looked alike.

I was extremely puzzled when Khan made the comment “Firing a coach is a dish that is best served cold.”

When it comes to X-rays and MRI results, the waiting is the hardest part.

So this is where the buck stops.

If I called those dildos “brave” for defending their home, I’d be ascribing a human characteristic to an inanimate object - would that be considered pathetic phallusy?

Maddon’s an interesting case. When people talk about the best managers in baseball, names like Bochy, Maddon, Francona, and Melvin invariably get thrown around.

Bullshit. Joe Jackson is a no talent hack who only got to where he did by exploiting his children’s talents with no regard for their well being. He has no place being elected to the hall of fame.

Icing On The Cake

“There was nothing out of the ordinary, outside of him masturbating in the store,” Edmisten said.

I’m not generally a thankful person but HOLY FUCKBALLS am I thankful that I don’t know you.

One bled over the cuckold’s nest

Yeah, yeah, great hymn, but what about Def Leppard’s version?

When it comes to wrong Jeopardy answers, nothing tops this.