Look, until the good Lord gives me that third arm I’m just going to work with what I got.

So much easier to just apply milk or simple syrup to neutralize.

They gave you just enough rope to hang yourself with.

“How’s ‘bout we all try an olde round of the Oliver Twist?”

He tried. It baffled Ingram. 

Well, years down the road he did shit the bed on a hurricane response.

He called his “friend” after his first tweet and asked what they thought of his masterpiece. “Friend” says he doesn’t see anything. Trump is baffled because, clearly, it’s written on the computer screen sitting right in front of him.

Did the session open something like this: “Millennials be all walking like this” *walks back and forth in the office while holding up a finger to represent an ironic mustache* “And baby boomers be all walking like this” *walks back and forth like he usually walks*

Hey! Hey. You can’t say that word. It’s Freedom-mas.

I think Tucker just likes imagining putting men of color in his mouth.

They don't exactly photograph well. I mean, that's just not what they're for. 

Sounds like an infrastructure problem to me. Congress, get on it!

Haven't they all at this point? 

It’s only really confirmed when you look at it from a particular angle.

As a fellow straight male all I have to say is, “Oh, daddy.”

I think 2017 was just a broken year.

Spoilers ahead! You getting stabbed!

Hey-o!

Have you tried summoning Satan on Christmas? It’s embarrassing for everyone.

It’s a necessity of America’s own making.