You are, perhaps the first Gawker/post-Gawker writer to respond to any of my posts - earnest or snarky - and so I know that today I am truly blessed.

Also, thank god you know better than those dumb ol’ professional chefs and cookbooks.

WTF? People seriously cook avocados?! *barfinmymouth*

Yes, I’d rather use that then folks. What a horrible word folks is. I will never use folks unless I’m parodying Looney Tunes, “That’s all folks”. Or just do Oprah’s, “PEOPLE”.

We’ve had a word like this in the South for years. Just use “y’all”.

Nick.

I sometimes think Rose McGowan should take a deep breath before she tweets. I also believe Meryl is probably very much in a bubble when it comes to her day-to-day life.

What runs forever? Because you are not getting a Model 3.

Outside of tradition, there’s really no reason to feature turkey in a lavish, celebratory meal.

Really just makes you wonder what sort of heinous shit Gay Talese hasn’t been caught out on yet.

Well the roommate that moved out is probably a little neurotic, but what kind of monster doesn’t replace the toilet paper?!

I don’t say “God” for anything really.

There’s always “I’ll give you something to cry about!” or the ever-popular “Shut up!” :-)

Well that’s just it. “Stop wasting my time with poverty jobs that pay less than what the minimum wage is literally five blocks away” isn’t the same as “please consider me for other opportunities.”

Is there a nice way to reject someone who offers you a job at a downright insulting rate of pay? Because a few months back, I got approached by a temp-to-hire recruiter about a job that paid about 70 cents on the dollar compared to what I’m used to making for that work (and what I actually got when I held out for…

How do paper mills smell like that? WTF are they doing in there?

I appreciate the cops letting him get roughed up a bit.

I have children, none of your options work in a household where children still play outside ... yes, I know a strange concept these days.

Not if any of the high-schoolers I’ve met are any indication.

They don’t teach Speech in High School any longer, do they?