How cute! A $200,000 house. In the SF Bay Area, that wouldn’t even get you a “dilapidated lean-to in the city’s Outer Mission district.”

I came in to work in a suit a few times. Everyone kept asking if I was going for a job interview. “No,” I’d smile, “funeral.”

I just got back from a weekend at a friend’s place. Another friend showed up, too. She brought her cat... her sick cat. Because, who wouldn’t want to be around that?

Everyone wants a Big Mac. I hadn’t had one in years... two weeks in Paris and I’m craving one. Sometimes, you just need a little home.

Whenever talk shows come to an end, they get impossibly good. Conan’s final weeks on the Tonight Show were some of the best on television. Johnny Carson’s last few months were some of his best episodes in years. I think it’s the “fuck it” attitude they get towards the end: “What are they going to do, fire me?” Also,…

“Dude... what are you gonna tell your dad?”

I’m always amazed at how people shit on Crocs: they’re ugly, they’re stupid, etc. Have you ever tried them on? Unbelievably comfortable. I don’t mean just when you put them on, but hours later.

Shouldn’t it be the barber with the bad haircut? Because he cut the hair of the barber with the good haircut.

So ONE guy gets arrested and you're all over it...

I was blown away by her voice. I knew she could sing, but I didn't know she could SING.

Pretty much how I use it.

How do the neighbors feel? I'd be pretty pissed if my neighbor put up something like that.

It looks as if she knows her voice is weak. She was not belting out those notes. Not sure if she was sick or it could be the cold weather. Not a huge fan of hers, but I do have friends who are performers and I know there are some nights that the voice just isn't there, but you have to perform anyway.

I once had to route my boss on a stopover in Las Vegas for three hours. He was pissed. Then I told him to leave the airport, have dinner at a hotel, gamble a bit, and then head back. After that, he asked for longer stopovers in Vegas...

I have the same model! I'm not a big fan of the humidifier in the summer months—I've gotten coughs that won't go away. However, in the winter, it warms the air I'm breathing, so my room can freeze, but I'm warm and cozy under the covers!

Maca Root Shave Cream from The Body Shop. Using just a tiny bit on a brush it really foams up nicely. I use a safety razor. I'm moving towards a straight razor, but I'm lazy... (and I have a crapload of blades I need to go through.)

Maca Root Shave Cream from The Body Shop. Using just a tiny bit on a brush it really foams up nicely. I use a safety…

Thank you... thank you. I'll be here all week.

I have big hands... no problem in reaching the outer edges of the screen for me!

By "one in the Air is two on the ground" you mean cost, right?

She is an awful person.