Pretty sure the Marlins already lost Goose by simultaneously employing a Negro and an oriental.

Goose Gossage.

Isn't this item better suited to Buzzfeed?

Keith Olbermann Body Slams Trump Through The Core Of The Earth

If this is what they call no gay Thursday, I’d hate to be around for no sexual assault Wednesday.

Darren Rovell knows as much about actual business (sports or not) as Vincent Adultman.

The healthiest thing to give up during Lent is Christianity.

But enough about Donald Drumpf...

May I suggest “a lobotomy and some tights”

That explains the Drumpf! sound when a stock car crashes into the fences. Good marketing.