I swear to Guadalupe the T about this season had better be incorrect. Val forever!

DAMN

because i ate them all.

Sorry to hijack a Shade Court thread, but I’m so fucking excited about this and I figured y’all would want to see it, anyway. ;) My new tattoooooo!

For all married couples, love-making is limited to 30 minutes, no foreplay is allowed, the lights must be turned off and only the missionary position is sanctioned.

(Raises hand). Me too. The last 2 mos have been crazy with weight gain, moving, new job. I did a 30 min walk and a 30 minute yoga this week. I find it helps to text BFF or FB post and say “ committing to a 30 minutes walk today and no white sugar.” Keeps me accountable.

Bieber is the holiest hole that ever holed.

For the last few months I have been doing this thing where I tell the bag boys “Nah, I don’t need my cart today” and then carry everything out. One kid just loves it and teases me when I actually buy stuff that I need to wheel out. “Come on, you can carry 50 # of dog food and three cases of water!” Then I moved on to…

how are you drying it? i found my hair is less frizzy when i blow-dry with a diffuser. i use deva-curl conditioner and gel, and live in texas. no frizz.

Today, as I do each time Shade Court is in session, I read each case and tried to determine what the ruling will be before reading the deliberations and verdict. Today, for the first time ever, I got them all correct.

Watching reruns of The Mary Tyler Moore Show as a child was the first time I saw a woman living the single life and pursuing a career. Her show put a friendly, sympathetic face on the struggle of the modern woman, paving the way for my understanding of feminism.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but this kid’s mom says she has read college-level books as well as children’s books. :)

Man she’s cute. She reminds me of my older sister who read every book in our elementary school library and got a special award from the school. My younger sister and I knew how to read before we went to school because of my older sister’s voracious reading-we wanted to know how to do what she was doing NOW, hahaha.

4 years old. And 4 million times more fluent than our peotus.

Yeah, I love men, and in fact married one some twenty years ago. Tommy experience, the body issues and the pregnancy issues aren’t things all but the most super evolved are adept at dealing with. Jezzies, any quick and inexpensive help??

My goal for the new year is to finally get my mental health sorted out. I’ve got my first ever appointment with a psychiatrist in March so that should help. The rest will be up to me which is where the real work begins. Hopefully a diagnosis and some meds will help too.

I’m in Paris, and it’s 12:10. Happy 2017, Jezebel!

R.I.P. 2016 (2016-2016)

Happy New Year everyone! It’s an hour to midnight here and I am sat in my pyjamas eating Pringles and drinking a bottle of wine that my neighbour didn’t want. I’m just pleased to still be awake, since last year I fell asleep watching Jurassic Park at 9PM. I hope you all have a happy, healthy, wonderful year and thank…