This is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better...

This is what I envision whenever someone talks about doing a home birth.

Every time a member at my church goes in for surgery or a medical treatment, the first thing we do is pray for the hands of the doctor, nurses and medical staff. Miracles are worked through their hands, denying the miraculousness of modern medicine is ludacris.

People, please start believing that health care IS the miracle God sent you.

Rape?

I stopped at Montague.

So there will be... hell toupee.

I bought one of those Phillips light alarm clocks that gawker media keeps pushing on us through daily deals. But I picked up a used one for half price on eBay. I’m so excited about. After that and the new (to me) car and purse I bought myself for my birthday, im trying not to buy anything else ever again. I…

Hey Jezzies, on Monday I have my first meeting with a divorce lawyer. This may get contentious and the cost is scaring me. But my ex is expecting me to roll over like I always used to, because he was ‘always right’, and I can't do that anymore. How I still hate that phrase. Anyways, any words of advice would be…

Came to ask this, so bless you.

Michelle Obama should run for president. She is probably too smart for that but she would make an excellent president.

Is it okay that I’m all bittersweet tears over here?

Exactly! The only thing I want after the gym is a massive bowl of pasta and a long hot shower.

I agree. I think he was someone who went into it with very good intentions. It’s a shame that the two sides couldn’t come together.

Can Jon Stewart run for president, and Barack Obama host the Daily Show?

I’m clearly not a parent, like how do you win getting a surly teenager to ruin your holiday with his angst? He’ll eventually get pissed off with his dad and come back. They always do.

How is he spending Christmas with her isn’t she a Kabbalah Jewish person?

Welcome to life as a reality tv accessory, baby!

Can't tell if baby is extra small or tatas are just really big. But she looks happy and healthy and good for her.