I couldn’t make it through the first hour of “Garden State;” and I’m the guy who sat through Josh Radnor’s movie!

This past weekend, my new significant other just invited me to spend the night. After sexy time, I was nodding off as we cuddled, and my body took that as a signal to get comfortable, and I ripped a loud one. Luckily, it didn’t stink, but it brought me right back in to wakefulness, and I sheepishly looked over at her…

#FinSoup

“Damn it! How many times have I told you not to make the password, ‘password?!?!?’”

What did the Chili Peppers ever do to you...apart from their last few albums?

I hate that this dickweed represents the congressional district I live in.

Thank Christ I never saw that commercial.

My buddy listens to Cowherd on the radio, and rebukes my criticism of it by saying that the reason ESPN has him on the air is to say stupid, offensive things, and that garners ratings.

I know a woman in her 50’s that is seeing a man in his 30’s.

Hold out hope; you’ll meet a non-mouth breather one day.

1. The movie review is written by Will Leitch.

Fuck you, Justin Upton! I have McCutchen in a Home Run League, and you just robbed him!

But then you have idiots, like the ones here in Arizona, where, even if you leave the left lane open for them to pass you, they swerve into the right lane and flip you off as they pass you because you were only doing 70!

Hey, at least the Pearl Jam fanboys will get you stoned before mocking you for only liking their commercial stuff.

If you play as the Spaniards, you get gold every time you destroy a Native encampment.

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Its something I see in Arizona all the time; Latinos denying their race so they’ll fit in and not be targets of hate. The only thing they receive in return is something stated in this article: tolerant indifference.

Yeah; its sad to think that all Kessel was worth was a few draft picks and some middling players. And Toronto still had to eat some of his salary to make the deal work!

Yes, trading away Kessel was painful; but it will only become evident in hindsight if it was necessary by the Leafs getting better in years to come. If the Leafs become the 76ers of the NHL(halfway there already), then trading away Kessel will just be sand being kicked in our face after the bully has knocked us down…

To paraphrase @YouStayClassy_, “I’m a Leafs fan because my parents didn’t love me enough.”