This is a literal horror movie: We know the killer’s in the house, we have working phones, why don’t we just call the cops?? THIS CAN STILL BE AVOIDED!!!

The only thing worse than them using the suites would be if they DIDN’T use them. Nothing bugs me more when I’m at a game and I see a super expensive suite that’s basically empty. Meanwhile, I’m crammed in next to a sweaty fat guy (or a mirror, I’m not sure) in tiny seats, surrounded by idiots yelling the most asinine…

Personally, I prefer my robots to tell me how I can make $94 an hour and buy a new BMW in my first month of working.

That Twitter handle is awesome though.

This is a nightmare for those who are worried about immigration. Jeff Sessions is extremely dangerous because he actually knows quite a lot about how the immigration system works, in minute details. He’s not a dumb man either. He knows exactly where to stick the knife.

And here I thought he just collected bottle caps.

Of course he got the big heavy massage chairs from Brookstone- I think they’re the D Series Massage Collection. If he was smarter, he’d have gotten the smaller, lighter, but superior E-Series. I think we all know, though, that Flacco would never buy the E lite.

What about being eaten alive? Like still alive, watching a hyena hank your innards out of your asshole as its friends laugh and chew your arm.

I’m pretty sure many of us will get to see for ourselves soon enough.

Lindsey Graham just called for a Congressional investigation into Russia and our election today.

That 3% battery charge bothers me more than anything mentioned in the article.

If these neighbors were smart, they’d take these pics and put them on io9.

This is a fucked up comment. There’s no reason to say this.

Are you surprised he has the ball to do it?

Pretty wild that Stormfront can’t find a single fucking grammar nazi.

Hatches, ranked:

I thought for sure that the BLM would be abolished

I welcome him bigly.

As long as they don’t get captured…

“Evans apparently commented on someone else’s Instagram post and said he did not vote in the election.”