Those fans can’t melt real teams!

We’ve accidentally lost more than you can imagine. We’re an “As Seen on TV” franchise; works great a lot of the time, but ends up putting broken glass in your lemonade when you least expect it.

So what’s he’s saying is I should start having sex no later than 11:59?

Great managers often take very different approaches to the same topics. For instance, Alex Ferguson would simply tell his players to get fucked.

Daddy Trump wants his kids and son-in-law to get top security clearance. This is NOT a joke. They’re gonna run America like a Mob family business. I wonder how long it will be before they try to get clearance for Alex Jones.

This will be super helpful for him if he ever ends up on the A’s.

+1 Fuck Mary Fallon

Justify it all you want but last years team was supposed to win even more than the team the previous year. They were the super team, the team that had set the new record for games won in the regular season. Oh and Curry was the first unanimous MVP. Did you know that? I had no idea, I had to look that up. Everyone in…

My one small gleam of hope through all of this is knowing

Ashley, I know you probably take a lot of shit over your work here, so I wanted to tell you I have started to deliberately check Deadspin when something like this breaks, knowing that your article will both appropriately reinforce my horror and commiserate with it. You’re great. Fuck anyone who tells you otherwise…

So is his formal title White Chief White House Strategist, or Chief White White House Strategist?

Sanders McGregor 2020

My dear sweet friend. Comey could not recommend Clinton without professional repercussions once it because clear that his recommendation was baseless and in the interest of swaying an election. This was his only play to not do something that was legal and also effective.

I would have described it as a pleasant baritone!

Never say ‘I quit and you can have all my money’ again, motherfucker!

ashley my eyes why god

This whole time we assumed IF there was one personality ESPN needed more than the other way around it was Bill Simmons. Turns out it’s actually Skip Bayless.

The NFL has decided to take the “YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT THESE CHILD STARS LOOK LIKE NOW” endless click approach to their online highlights.

Lookin’ back on the track for a little green bag,
Got to find just the kind or I’m losin’ my mind

No puppet.