File this under “Who Gives a Shit?”

Yeah, motherfuckers, I just made a Smothers Brothers reference.

Actually, two American climbers were training this pair to replace them, but their H-1Bs fell through... a crevasse.

I know this is fake because that’s a photo of me.

Thanks for chiming in, old white guy.

Not to be confused with “a funny joke.”

Some toddlers just want to watch the world burn.

Sending anything to this planet for the next several decades is pointless. It’s not like we’ve exahausted all targets in our own solar system. We are currently in the process of rendering this planet uninhabitable for humans, so perhaps we might want to address that and get really serious about Mars or Europa before…

Both of those women are dog ass homely as fawk.

Making a tattoo gun with a Walkman?

Or out.

Okay, fuck this.

Rampage thinks he has a shot at a threeway.

Love your military!

I always thought it meant an angel was losing his wings.

Oh, Lifehacker.

11. Mash them into a paste and apply them to your pet for stunningly supple fur.

Yeah, but your parents probably had hairy nipples.

This is a stupid sentiment.

The list is pretty good. Generally, the nutrionist is saying that, at best, those processed snacks get a C, or generally are garbage and should not be fed to children or adults on a regular basis.