I grew up in New England in the 70s and 80s. I had moved from LA and was a diehard Lakers fan. All of my friends were Celtics fans. I learned how to play animal ball and dominate on the playground. The area kids would go at me hard because the Lakers were supposedly soft. It was satisfying on many levels that the…

This is the haircut worn by Seagullman in the Justice League movie.

I can top that.

oh hey ghost

Lynch has contempt and a deep love for the tropes and melodrama of daytime soaps.

Millennials need a smartwatch to tell them to walk.

BMI, micronutrients, apps, fitness bands, and kinesiology. Blah, blah, blah.

The reason people fail to lose weight is plainly, simply, childishly contained in the very dysfunctional and poorly conceived phrase itself.

Okay, maybe, but still, Fargo cruising on half a tank is still lapping the competition.

You've never been to Buseystan?

Hollywood, how have you not set up a corner office for Chowderbatter?

Ed With Vaginas

Trump does not hire lawyers for their legal acumen, but rather for their complete lack of scruples, AKA loyalty.

I live in China.

"I'm a LAW-yer, not a SPELL-yer!"

How Would Robocop Wear a Cummerbund or GTFO.

Yeah, but poorly.

Starring Jackie Gleason and Lucille Ball.

The xenomorphs should follow the Ridley Scott model, who — after two consecutive lazy, dull, and incoherent nutshots to the iconic franchise he helped create — has been wearing his own ass as a hat.

Lucas' original vision for The War From the Stars was for him to read the entire story off a legal pad while he ate cheeseburgers and drank cherry cokes at a diner in Petaluma.