Some of us like reading 1 inch columns of decentered text.

For the love of God, someone start a grindcore band with STD-themed lyrics and call it Grandgore.

This will backfire because Fallon has put so much effort into being as substance-free and apolitical as possible that he will lose whatever Leno watching Trump voters he has in his audience.

Van Jones is still a moron.

Melania is fine.

Spoiler: his last words are "Stop emailing my wife."

Same, but in the ineffable twilight of neither sexual nor non-sexual.

I have a feeling this is going to end in someone mailing someone else a bomb followed by a livestreamed suicide.

America is Great Because America is Good

I'm just glad the mass shootings thing didn't catch on.

Yes, he should really stick to roles where he's a non-verbal accretion of muscle.

This is reckless and will leave our Precious Brands more vulnerable to bad publicity than ever.

If this doesn't have a scene where someone is in free fall while firing a machine gun at a fighter jet before deploying a parachute 100 feet above the ground and landing on an ATV, it doesn't deserve the name Just Cause.

Man, I remember what it was like back then. Me and my friends shared everything. Food. Money. Chlamydia.

I still have my launch PS4. It's been a workhorse but the thumbsticks on the controllers took an immediate shit and one of them finally overheated while charging and gave up the ghost entirely. I guess I ought to be glad that getting a "bad" Switch probably isn't in the cards for me even if I wanted one (which I do).

Their use of technology against technology is a stark reminder of the seductiveness of inhumanity as a means of escaping the indignities of the human condition.

I will still buy one because videos of the new Zelda make me feel 12 again. That is priceless as I march inexorably toward my eventual demise.

You think a person can get by on just a herky-jerky dancer's wage? In this economy?

Derivative and clumsily executed. 3/10

Greasy, salty food is a common hangover remedy. Not sure why, but it just seems to help settle your stomach and slow the incessant pounding in your head after a night of drinking (or when you're winding one down).