The show is so brilliant because there is so many characters you can relate too. I’m personally a lot like Retsuko + Protein Yoga Teacher.

OMG! OMG! OMGFG! RETSUKO IS BACK! Happy days!

Is it still a humble brag when it’s so obviously just a brag? 

Is Bruce Willis black?

Six days. Six. I’m a gay dude and even I know that’s not a good sign.

The year I lived in Alabama it hit 100 with the humidity factor by March... I don’t see how anyone can stand to live there.

All I have to say is I fucking love carnitas. Far too often carnitas at mediocre Mexican restaurants are bland and wet. There is this place not far from me called Cinco de Mayo, they make the best carnitas ever. It takes a while to get your order, but it is well worth the wait. The carnitas are tender but just dry…

Literally every new thing I learn about Marky Mark makes me dislike him even more than I already did.

There’s a whole world out there (which evidently exists just a few miles from where I am) to which I’m completely oblivious - even despite an open war going on within that world! There really are upsides to advanced age.

Hang on, are you telling me they’ve already devised a method of defeating Trump’s proposed border wall? And they did it using the president’s favorite fast food joint?

When AB did that Spain episode with all the canned tapas i became a believer.  

which makes sense, considering how long Spain has been fucked.

There’s a place in the valley in LA that sells conservas and other European imports at wholesale prices. I’m not a fancy food person but it’s bonkers to me that so few people know about it in this city.

I bet that would go good with a little Hellman's.

I once did an impromptu striptease. Some friends and I were at an outdoor patio when we overheard a table next to us celebrating a bachelorette party. Since our town has a dearth of strippers, we volunteered. It didn’t get very far, but the effort seemed to be appreciated. 

So, he called people N-bombs on the set of The Apprentice 10 years ago, and she decided to hang with him, and campaign for him, and join his WH team. One onf those times when both sides are correct DJT = racist, and OM = low-life.

Waking up in ICU with amnesia.

Murray was probably drunk and obnoxious, but name dropping your sister deserves nothing less than a nuclear wedgie.

I’m not in love with Constance’s dress, but damn it, I love her and want her to be uber-famous, too!

Having worked in the “service industry” when I was very young, I will do anything, including being homeless, before I will ever work in that industry again.