This is a happy and healthy Macaulay Culkin.

I’d love it if while they all stood around for hours with a crew trying to get the “perfect” pictures the “Bachelorette” was just sitting at home in baggy clothing, watching trashy films, and eating junk food thereby having a much better time by default.

You keep the bird about through brekky, mate? You cheeky bastard.

Nah. Three dudes, one assumes they were in possession of testicles, armed with a gun, tried to attack her.

Job interview:

You should always at least ask. Most of the time they’ll tell you, “We have X for an additional $X,” but now and then I’ve gotten free upgrades just for asking. It helps if you’re a member of their loyalty program, but this has worked even at chains I wasn’t a member of.

I think we are all missing the real villain here, which is Diet Pepsi and its companion bullshit drinks.

WAIT! Shes’s a CJ major on top of all of this! Talk about Karma, it just doesn’t get any better then this! In all seriousness, this had to be traumatic for her, I hope she’s able to overcome it, and to somehow use this experience in a positive way. My VERY best wishes Ms Dinsmore, I hope you have a long, happy,…

Yes, because this is a website about CARS and this story highlights how she used her CAR and her MANUAL TRANSMISSION to escape.

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good woman with a stick.

This is good Kinja.

Everybody loves gossip. Nobody loves a gossiper.

You are extremely right. Although I am informed by my mother and her cohorts, who are literally *the* busiest people I know, all octogenarians. All busy doing things to stretch their minds, stay social, get moving. I was born lazy so I totally cannot relate :-)

Yeah, my grandmother is 95, living in a nursing home thinking my dad (her son) is her husband and is living with “some woman (My mom, they divorced over ten years ago) and don’t you think I wouldn’t find out.”

Well said.

Well, now you and Bobby Finger and the rest of Jezebel editors have been warned.

By all measures I’d say she won the game of life.

Oh I don’t know - she’s ninety-fucking-four! That’s BEYOND a good run by any possible measure. The fact that she still has a column at all, is sort of miraculous. How many working nonagenarians does anyone know?

I don’t know. I read that article this morning and was surprised at the number of comments about it being “sad.” IMO, just the fact that Smith is 94 years old and has enough mental acuity to be aware of her irrelevance automatically makes it not sad. What is unfortunate is that she only defines herself by what she…