Moana is so beautiful.

Sounds like someone who meows back at her cats.

I am normally a big fan of going by myself. However, I live with my parents and last New Years Eve I told them I was going to a party, so that they would think I have friends. Then I caught an 11:30PM screening of Rogue One, which I had already seen twice before. I was just sitting there, surrounded by some elderly…

My first threesome was pretty special too.

You were actually stumbling around a subway station in Cleveland, but no one was about to tell you otherwise.

Reading that line alone, it sounds pretty bad, but the song itself isn't a celebration of love—she acknowledges that is painful and destructive, and that she is being manipulated. Easily her best song, in my opinion, and her best live performances are ones where she sings this.

Sexy story, but would have been better if dad joined in on the fun.

Wow, once again I'm taken aback by the beauty coming from Queef Latina

That's the most beautiful thing I ever read.

I shared a one-bedroom with my mother in the projects while trying to become a published author. I guess it depends on your perspective.

OK I guess now's the time for me to vent about how utter bullshit the La La Land awards sweep is. it's almost a parody—a movie about skinny ridiculously beautiful white people singing and tap dancing, while "struggling" in their spacious, beautiful apartments, and we are supposed to feel sorry for them because they…

Shoot me.

In other news, I just read that Hilary Clinton attended tonight's closing show of the Color Purple on Broadway. It went a little better than Pence's Hamilton night. She received three standing ovations at the end of the show.

This is getting weird.

If there's dong.

STOP CALLING FOR ME!

Is this a "two truths and a lie" situation?

OK guys I'm in the bathroom dropping a deuce. Keep me updated.

That was actually a Westworld robot. Meryl Streep was in blackface as Viola Davis the entire time.

The only way to be sure is to see his long-form birth certificate.