I lived in France and every other boy I dated was named Julien. Fact.

Or we could require all men to wear their hair in a bun.

Y'all. My grandmother is going to this wedding as her friend's plus one! The degrees of separation between me and my BFF Kate just got awesomely smaller!

Don't worry, the Queen already made him shave it off! (And she probably wasn't so nice about her disapproval, either.)

I love multiple baguettes as well!

Good set up, but it still feels forced. I would work on your gravitas, and fewer cliches often works to convince people you are serious. Needs improvement.

Is Wonton Soup okay? Cos that's lunch today!

It's a homemade soup made of energy drinks and a heaping cup of stupid.

And you can't even say, "Well, maybe he's reeeally charming" in this situation. This is the heebiejeebiest thing ever.

Then you are Part of the Problem™.

"But I have a daughter, so how can I write sexist legislation?!" Been hearing that a lot lately.

Yeah. I dated a skinhead back when I was like 16. He was so scared his little friends would figure out I'm actually Ojibwe... Which they eventually did, of course.

Misogynists marry women all the time. It means absolutely nothing about their actual feelings towards a person they are supposed to love or care about.

Yeah... not to get all preachy or on my high horse here, but I found the lyric-related jokes about this incident to be kinda glib. There's nothing funny at all about this story.

Paul and Edie down in the jail cell.

Was he choking her in the shallow water before she got too deep? Because that's totally cool if you know what I mean. Doo'yah?

Do you have sole custody or is that for part time expenses? 200 a month? Is your kid supposed to eat cat food and live in cardboard box? That's nuts.

Actually, it seems like she is being paid specifically not to reveal some information that would either make her ex subject to criminal prosecution or derail his career entirely. I'm guessing the payoff has more to do with his penis than her vagina.

That woman has scored the sexy sex jackpot TWICE. She's almost as lucky as Lisa Bonet (Lenny Kravitz and Jason Momoa).