That photo makes me want to puke.

Men do not give a shit.

Please stop trying to make the word "normcore" happen - whether done ironically or not.

Man, none of this has jack shit on Dansko clogs. Gotta love doctors and their love of the ugliest goddamn shoes on Earth.

Bonus: you won't need birth control!

I hate martinis but I love dirty martinis. A fuckton of olives what got booze in 'em? Yes please!!

I really hate how much people shit on mixed drinks. Sure, most of the crappy HFCS mixed drinks in restaurants are total shit, but a good mixed drink can be sublime. A lot of alcohol snobbery is borne of ignorance, rather than being some truly englightened drinker.

Like a really drunk Christmas tree.

Yes. I found one dead in my driveway a few years back. There were hardly in birds in the sky. When I moved it to the grass, the crows started coming. When I dug a hole and put the bird in it there were 100s of crows flying above me. After that, when I would go for a walk, I couldn't tell if they were following…

I was riding the MUNI to work, just before the morning rush hour. A disheveled looking gentleman hopped onto the car as the doors were closing, and proceeded to stuff both his hands into his pants and begin rummaging around.

Once the doors were closed and the train had begun moving, he started to hurl the contents of…

Oh my god flashback to high school English when our parents had to sign permission slips for us to watch this movie because butt.

I seriously want to find copies of them and re-read just to see if they actually hold up and I still find them horrifically sad... or if I read them now and they're just so over the top full of melodrama and tragedy that they're hilarious.

OMG best day of English ever was seeing that guy's butt. I mean...ahem.. acting.

I am OLD. The tragic teen death movie of my time was Franco Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet, which was sublime to me. My mother took me to see it and I had many feverish dreams about Leonard Whiting for quite a while afterwards.

[Citation needed]

And this is why Margaret Atwood is my favorite. She gets to the core of things with surgical precision.

Also I was so proud to get posting privileges, and now they don't even matter. :(

Donald Glover did a great bit about this exact predicament. The gist of it was that while a lot of guys have somewhat amusing/outlandish stories about "crazy girlfriends", women do not have the same sort of stories, because "IF YOU HAVE A CRAZY BOYFRIEND, YOU GONNA DIE".

Marget Atwood once recalled that when she asked a male friend why men feel threatened by women, he answered, "They are afraid women will laugh at them." When she asked a group of women why they feel threatened by men, they said, "We're afraid of being killed."