My flatmate and I had a housewarming.

The newly married wife and me, decided to have a Cinco de Mayo party in order to break out and use some of our wedding gifts. We spent the day getting our party supplies, getting food prepped and after some clever engineering I created a margarita fountain. The dinner party was a hit and as it went early into the…

Spring/Summer, 1986. I am a junior. My best friends parents are out of town. We schedule a party, the word spreads. We have a band scheduled (the core members of this band would later on become actual recording artists - you have heard of them). We had to prepare “Jen’s” house.

George always looks over it. He totally has his Grandmothers resting face of disapproval. (I will NOT refer to the Queen that way.)

Below is an itemized list of all things that cause rape. The list is comprehensive and complete. No additions are necessary or relevant. To eliminate the threat of rape and sexual assault from society, deal with all the items in the following list. Here’s the beginning of the list.

They were too busy having a mind-boggling conversation with me about what dry shampoo is. 

Delusional and entitled people, that’s who.

This is getting out of hand.

The real question is when are we finally going to get federal legislation requiring that raisin cookies, whether produced commercially or homemade, have the international “No” symbol branded into their surfaces for the protection of decent, God-fearing chocolate chip cookie fans? I would also support some sort of…

But has anyone asked Alison Brie what she thinks of Maggie Gyllenhaal’s opinion of James Franco? 

#MeToo has been around for 12 years, actually, and was coined by a black woman to help other black women process trauma. It’s not a movement by or solely for famous actresses.

Additionally, stop telling women that they are hurting other women by not naming names. These experiences are extremely painful and rehashing…

How about, maybe instead of putting the burden on abused women to submit themselves to a system that does not serve victims of abuse well, we make a systematic decision to teach men to respect women and teach everyone basic concepts of consent?  And then we transform the system so victims who come forward are not…

Say hi to your Dear Leader Putin for us!

And what about Rob Lowe, who said the ensuing scandal from an incident in which he recorded sex with what turned out to be a 16-year-old girl “the best thing that ever happened to me”?

Sadly, all thin mints were your only option, I think. :( In Canada, the chocolatey mint cookies are the only ones sold in the fall, and then the… sandwich? Vanilla/chocolate Oreo? cookies are the only ones sold in the spring.

#NoNutsInChocolateChipCookies

“here’s something you can do: forget the chocolate chips altogether.”

You know he crawled out of the vacuum and is probably living in your bed right now, right?

One time, late at night, I saw a person eat a mayonnaise and banana sandwich.

Alright, been debating writing this down because I’ve been trying to get it out of my mind. This story has a few different facets and I have no idea what to make of all of it.