I’ve been there. It does. 

I’m pretty sure Oprah, Michelle Obama and the Crisis Actor’s Union are bringing flatware. 

Its fun to watch him shriek and whither, but can we agree to stop looking?

Listen to Lisa Simpson and Paul Anka:

Don’t forget the RAND Corporation! 

My mom wanted to schedule her knee surgery for October 6, but I told her to hold off cuz I had plans. 

I forget - am I bringing chip or are you? Hillary and Barack are both bringing guacamole. And John McCain (who is not dead - it was a false flag) is brining queso.

Pepper or Happy for Skulls 2019!

I grew up in Pittsburgh and after having left for many years returned for family issues.
The people in this city are pathetically dedicated to the Steelers. Steelers shirts are a kind of one-size-fits-all attire for any event. Leisure? Sure. Work? Yup. Church? Definitely. A funeral? Of course. I have seen more than…

“why do you smell so good?”

Question 1: Does Kimberly Guilfoyle call out Donald Trump’s name during sex?
Question 2: Does Donald Trump Jr call out Donald Trump’s name during sex? 

So Fox News Lady used to be married to Gavin Newsom, but now she’s dating this chinless, charisma-free zilch?
Ugh who the hell would want either of these people flopping around on top of them while talking about Pizzagate? 

Whoa now! Cottage cheese is a little exotic for today’s GOP. They’ll have plain white bread with a glass of water on the side for dipping. 

I want a happy ending.
This is my biggest gripe with “new” Simpsons vs “classic” Simpsons: hope.
In classic Simpsons episodes we saw hope for the whole family.
Bart was a challenging kid, but deep down he is a good person. The writers gave us scenes from the future showing Bart as a Supreme Court Justice (and Lisa as…

Oh its partially that.
Its also that these pricks (GOP people like Spicer) are huge fucking hypocrites.
They position themselves as the salt-of-the-earth, everymen who reluctantly live in these cities to protect “average America”. In reality the majority of the GOP is just slick conmen who have disdain for rural…

Also who the fuck is still buying Amway in the year of our lord, Jeff Bezos?)

So why on earth would Spicer think it a good idea to host his book signing in New York City?

Well clearly YOU should have been born to someone with a famous last name. Meghan clearly worked very hard to be born a McCain and has earned the artificial authority that comes with her name. 

Or (gasp!) even worse: god forbid her grandchildren not be able to sail their way into a job because of their last name.

Fauxlania?
Fauxlania would Felonious.

The media, in particular Fox News, has long cultivated this stupid idea of “Lets hear both sides of the argument” and “we have to be ‘balanced’”.

This moronic policy is why we see people with PhDs and mountains of evidence having to “debate” climate change deniers with no training, no evidence and obvious ties to the…

Marge: “You know, Fox turned into a hardcore sex channel so gradually, I didn’t even notice.”