Fair warning: At some point early this season Ingram and LeBron are going to combine for 50+ in a win over the Warriors or the Rockets and I am going to become absolutely insufferable for months. I’m talking replies that are just the banners in Staples Center, gifs of Jack laughing courtside, assertions that Magic was…

Brandon Ingram looks like the love child of Wiz Khalifa and Inspector Gadget.

For context on that trial: when I was in law school, our Evidence professor used it as an example of how a defendant’s lawyers can use all kinds of loopholes to call an accuser a shameless whore who’s in it for the money and still stay within the bounds of the rules of evidence. 

The trial fucking enraged me. Kobe had his scumbag lawyer “accidentally” use the accuser’s full name in open court half a dozen times just to make sure it got out there so legions of unhinged fans would make her life a living hell until she gave up and went away. And it fucking worked. The judge threatened to hold her…

“Guys, I know losing Mychal is tough but I know we’re gonna get through this. I still believe in this team ever increasingly becoming more of random dudes that went undrafted because fiscal responsibility is what the Seattle Seahawks organization is about. And I’ve brought in a special guest to tell us more about…

Not surprising, they’re using metrics in policing more and more these days.

“A lot of people have gotten into a lot of trouble assuming that police officers have their best interests [at heart].”

“My brother lasts way longer than 5/7 minutes!”

Brett Kavanaugh is extra mayo

Trust the (xiphoid) Process.  

Brett Kavanaugh merges on the interstate at 45mph.

Oh, he’s an extreme couponer that pays with loose coins and a check.

I’ve never met the man, but I know now that he talks in the movie theater.

Aw, his kids are so adorable. My stupid kids are so frickin’ ugly. Ugh.

I hope Alhassan has kept the fridge calendar for the month of March 2018, which would clearly prove to the jury that NO RAPES WERE SCHEDULED THAT MONTH.

Yup. The hallucinations and demons thing is a common refrain.

This is frightening. I know we like to point at CTE anytime a football player has these kinds of issues, but it sounds almost like he could be bipolar. I hope he gets the help he needs.

Also “35 years ago”, implicitly saying, “I’m innocent but honestly it was such a long time ago, who cares if I did?”.

Of course. You think Clarence Thomas has regret one about the character assassination of Anita Hill?