Anyhow, we’re both really looking forward to our wedding night.

Yeah, that was crazy to me that that’s illegal because that’s what a registry’s for. Yeah, NCAA said it was illegal, so I’m not going to argue with it right now.

Placed on the DL for not even being mad, actually laughing too hard.

wears Chief Wahoo mask in dugout because “protesters are the real racists”

Suspended for refusing to pay equipment fine on free speech grounds after drawing Pepe the Frog on his cleats

Dark Horse Candidate

MMmm, that's a sour kraut.

More like Angelique Gerber, amirite? Get it? Because she’s such a baby... you don’t get it, it’s funny.

You’re right, coach. When I think “accountability,” I think Michigan State.

Shitcanned as a euphemism for getting drunk might be actually be hyper-regionally specific, limited strictly to my mother’s house. 

ESPN 30 for 30 presents: Three Tugs and a Cloud of Dust: The Manipulation of Robert Kraft 

Oh, but they’re all so happy, all the time, and they want to tell you all about it! (As soon as they’ve gotten all six kids to bed and the wife has figured out what do with all these LuLaRoe leggings nobody wants to buy from her.)

In hind-sight, maybe I should have known something was up from this recruiting photo.

I want these dumb rich kid’s names. I want to shame the person that instigated a $100,000 bribe to a tennis coach because the kid couldn’t get in to Texas on their own. Texas! A school with an enrollment of over 40,000: A place that accepted my dumbass brother.

Holy shit, how do you sell “we need to have a photoshoot where you pretend to play soccer so you can get into college” to your kids? I’d kill to be part of that conversation.

He lists all of the major events coming to Los Angeles over the next 10 years, including Super Bowl LVI, the MLB All-Star game, the 2026 World Cup, and the 2028 Summer Olympics.

a site for boys who wanna grow up to be Donald Trump Jr.

If they only ran one loop, they would have gotten their 6.4-mile split across then ran on to the finish line without doing the second loop.

You’re hired!

It’s how they stay rich old people.