I move for there to be no more distinction between domestic violence and assault and battery. If anything the sheer math of it all would dictate that most violence actually occurs in the home, since that's where people spend the most time.

I love how Tim Lincicum notices he fucked it up and gives him a "dude are you drunk?" Look

"We're sorry that nobody likes to stay around downtown after 7 p.m., for fear of being robbed."

As someone who spent their first 26 years of like in Missouri and is a lifelong Cardinals fan, I highly support this message. Francis Slay is an embarrassment, and I have no idea on God's green earth why he keeps putting out these dumb press releases whenever someone as much as steps on the heel of the Cardinals…

I like to imagine that multiple black women have called him a punk and his oblivious takeaway was that they thought he was Ashton Kutcher.

Or everyone just starts sending him pen after pen until he dies under a mountain of Bics.

It would be tremendous if this guy gets spammed on twitter with pics of peoples' junk drawers.

REMEMBER THE SINGING DICK.

You should have gone to the bathroom and said "I'll send you something too", then sent him a picture of a bigger dick.

Dealbreaker. Shut it down.

This column ranks in the top 5% of all columns I've read this month. Gold star.

The picture MUST be shown.

"Zamperini's death moved Drew Magary to write an article without capitalizing an entire sentence."

US just drew against Portugal but I think they played a better game than the final score shows. Minus a few screw-ups, if they play that same game again against Germany they should win.

Do the Challenger disaster next!

Great comment. Been thinking this a lot in reading the responses to the story. He seems like a creepy and awful dude from all accounts, and a borderline sex criminal. But like many 'borderline' cases of sexual assault, the problem is that you can't place all the blame on the individual perpetrator. Whatever legitimate…

Or D, Michael Bradley played like shit and Tim Howard, Demosey and John Brooks saved our bacon. Aron and Wondo have both proved they can score when Jozy is unavailable, not a catastrophe.

Three questions for people who actually watch soccer: