Hahahaha. True!

Gorgeous as is but if I had to choose, shave it. Shelly Winters said “Everyone should marry an Italian once.” No need for the marriage part today.

The celebratory beard shaving should have to be done with a hockey skate.

I gave my kids the NFL IQ test when it was published in the NYT years ago. Two of my kids scored higher than the Mannings. One was in 8th grade, the other in 6th.

Far from it. He was not dramatic at all. Totally sucked it up. Till he went to retrieve dog’s ball under couch and arm collapsed under him. I love him so much. He was super brave. However, under questioning by orthopedist I was not.

One of my four kids (I know, my OBGYN said the fourth one is free) said “I heard you but I wasn’t listening.” I think he’s the same kid that thought Smart Alec was a compliment.

I’m still ashamed that I kept telling my 8 year old to ‘walk it off...you play sports, you get hurt, etc.’ He had a broken arm for two weeks. I'm fortunate he wasn't taken away.

Jesus Christ, I love your writing. I want all of these put into a book I can give to my boys. They get sick of me sending each one by email. Thank you!

Is Lindsey Graham going to take down the Confederate flag he flies at his own home? Hypocritical Southern racist.

I saw that race, too!

I always laid my babies sheepskin at my feet and they would sleep on it. I tried to get window so people didn't have to step over them and so I could show them and look out myself when they crashed. I ended up with four and never had a nightmare flight.

“Appears to be a bit shaken up..”

Check make up of voters. Something like 75%male and 60 some % white. Average age crept up to 63 this year. What else can we expect? It's fucked up.

Jealous much?

Thank you. Fuck them.

My ex-husband actually called the person who had hired me to tell them that he shouldn't because I wouldn't do a good job. I decided then to divorce him and held the job for five years and still have a great professional relationship. With my ex, not so much.

It looks like my ex-husband's penis

MAURY COMPSON!!!!

Lincecum is my dream date. I want him in NY.

JESUS CHRIST I love your writing. I still have my Tim McCarver bat from my first game at Busch Stadium when I was 10. They were full sized bats then. My bedroom wall was plastered with Julian Javier, Bob Gibson, Curt Flood. I swung in the hammock under the catalpa tree eating sardines from a can on saltines listening…