I’d call this the worst case of a guy with an unpronounceable name destroying a Jet in New York, but…well, you know.

Shelly Winters said a lot of stuff. Her husbands were not as hot as this guy, though. She might’ve married Italian once, but she would’ve defiled the Italian several times.

Gorgeous as is but if I had to choose, shave it. Shelly Winters said “Everyone should marry an Italian once.” No need for the marriage part today.

Worst beard since Nicole Kidman.

I once sat in the middle seat between a man chewing tobacco then spitting into a cup and a woman who cut her toenails.

Definitely my new favorite coach that I’ve never heard of.

John McKay coached the Bucs during a 26 game losing streak. Here are some of his best moments:

Aaaawww, the poor kid! You must’ve been beside yourself. All the sympathies!

I once had an infection that swelled to the shape of the Captain Hook glove thing (don’t act like you don’t know the one) that I was wearing to hide the fact that I’d disobeyed them and tried to pet a cat, and they thought it was psychological. Took me to a bunch of therapists who told them I was just in some weird…

Don’t feel bad. Okay, I know you always will, but try to cut yourself some slack, there. A minor fracture can be surprisingly easy to miss, and all the more so if the kid tends to be dramatic about pain.

I broke my foot when I was like, 8 or something (I’ve done it three other times since so I’m not entirely positive about the age) but ran around on it for four weeks before we even went to the doc. The only reason my mom knew it happened was because we had to go get new shoes and the salesperson was like, “Uh, do you…

15. Quit touching each other!

She’ll probably be pissed in the not-too-distant future. But right now, she’s probably trying to sort through everything.

And the only horse ever to have more heart than Big Red was Ruffian.

There’s a close-up photograph of Affirmed and Alydar as they’re nearing the finish line at Belmont. Affirmed is ahead by a head and he is looking at Alydar. Horses don’t do that. Unless you’re Affirmed. That horse just would. not. quit.

The Affirmed/ Allydar races were amazing. It is incredible that the same two horses came in 1-2 at all the triple crown races. If there had been no Affirmed, Allydar would have won the triple crown in 78.

I saw secretariat lose to a horse named Onion at Saratoga. I was just a kid but remembered it was a huge deal at the time.

Everybody always talks about “he is moving like a tre-MEN-dous machine!” but my favorite part of this video is how the camera keeps widening out down the stretch to try and keep two horses in the frame.

The best part is when Turcotte looks back to see what the hell is going on behind him because he can’t hear any other horses. And the crowd reaction too, they’re going apeshit.

Nack’s book on Secretariat is a great read, as is his story about his death.