BONG

I always wondered what John Sterling’s Kinja account name was.

Ar-I-wanna-say is she showed a Gio-LOT-O conviction.

Nothing is more 2019 than the Saints siding with the sinners.

Tom Beef’O’Brady ... congrats.

The Athletic comment section is entirely made up of people going “Great article! This is why I pay for the Athletic!”

You type a blog with your hands but you write a blog with your heart.

To be specific, he got impeached for a lie! If 1998 were today, the President would have been impeached over 11 thousand times!

I’ve been following Deadspin faithfully since 2005. (Jesus, really? Huh.) I’ve even been fortunate enough, thanks to Will, to add some of my own crappy, amateur writing to the old “Pants Party” catalog. (Pete Gaines, aka “petejayhawk” and I contributed factoids for our respective alma maters — Kansas and Villanova —…

Wizard Cat gives this writer: Five Wands

I’m excited to see how this plays out. It’s sort of like Marchington hit on 19 against a dealer 10, and though the odds are slim you play poker to win!

Not well-informed, not levelheaded. Cool. 

Since I can’t get out of the grey, tell that dumb hypocrite he spoiled the end of GoT with his lame-ass username.

If elected Public Editor, I will ensure this website has three times as much Poker content. 

Spoiler alert: In an article about what happens in a movie, what happens in the movie will be discussed. If you do not wish to be exposed to what happens in the movie, do not read an article about what happens in the movie.

It’s assumed that Deadspin’s many volunteer Twitter ombudsmen will continue in their duties.

How the fuck am I not on this list

Nah. Just go to the basement, flip the circuit breaker off for that exterior outlet, and leave the car unbothered. They’ll come back wondering “why isn’t the car charging!” 

They also said that The Lion King was their thirty second feature film, but that movie is way longer than thirty seconds.

This is mean. This isn't you.