I think we should keep humanizing Putin so that when he is president of the world, we all know and love his clever jokes.

When the Cavs called, Thibodeau said he’d only trade Jimmy Butler if he got back 2 first round picks, LeBron James, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Mo Williams, and that up-and-coming 3-point shooter, Boobie Gibson.

Let’s not forget former Marlin, Dee Gordon, and his immense contributions to the Seattle Mariners’ pennant race and locker room culture.

These emails are exactly the kinds of emails Donald Trump would be sending you if he owned the Buffalo Bills and knew what email was. 

He won a Super Bowl by not trading Warren Sapp the week before the first game of the 2002 season.

I hate wood too.

Stop calling me “dumpster CHID” This is an official cease and desist. 

I’m an idiot. I can’t believe I’ve been pronouncing his name wrong all this time. I admit, I don’t watch a lot of Astros (or a lot of baseball), so accidents can happen. But his name is Alex Bregman? What a kick in balls.

“Rickey Henderson said that?” - Rickey Henderson

Like they say in poker, “hit me, bitch.”

It’s a slippery slope because if the Lerner family pays for this guy’s treatment, before long you’ll have people in this country paying to put other people’s kids through school, or you’ll be paying to put out a fire at someone else’s house, or you’ll be paying to pave roads that you never drive on, and that is NOT…

just like the film it was based on. 

You know who else didn’t like going to the Raptors? Ray Arnold. But the raptors said, “no, you hold on to YOUR butts,” and ate him anyway, butt in hands. 

Eric Andre thinks he’s so cute and weird and funny but you know what? I’m tired of his bullshit!

The game of NBA basketball was lost in the late 90s. This version of NBA basketball isn’t really sport, but basic entertainment for the dude on the street that has no idea what to do with his life. He watches NBA basketball for a few years, drinks craft beer, and eventually dies.

Tell me about it. Hangin’ Tough and Step by Step can fuck right off for all I care. Give me the jams.

The game of +1 was lost in the late 90s. This version of +1 isn’t really really +1, but basic entertainment for the dude on the street that has no idea what to do with his life. He watches +1s for a few years, drinks craft beer, and eventually dies.

I haven’t seen a giant dong like that since Greg Oden was in the NBA (referring to the size of his penis, a photo of which was published on this very website)!

The game of really meta was lost in the late 90s. This version of really meta isn’t really really meta, but basic entertainment for the dude on the street that has no idea what to do with his life. He watches really meta for a few years, drinks craft beer, and eventually dies.

The game of grinding it into the dirt was lost in the late 90s. This version of grinding it into the dirt isn’t really sport, but basic entertainment for the dude on the street that has no idea what to do with his life. He watches grinding it into the dirt for a few years, drinks craft beer, and eventually dies.