learn how two spell, dupshot

HeREEKiel SMELLSofIT - IT stands for “Intimidating (T)Clown”, because the clown lives in the sewers and eats children and quits on plays and lets down the whole great state of Texas by being a bad clown. That’s who you are, HeReekiel SmellsofIT, you’re a bad clown and I hope the discipline you get is Jason Garrett…

Sequels suck.

Jerry Jones is rolling in his grave.

Other things whose newness Mrs. Petchesky inquired about this summer:

I know that guy from Fifa. He’s good.

I grill like the do in fancy restaurants.

Un-Lucky Whitehead Gets Popped

This is awful, but it’s sort of what they deserve for ripping off the Buffalo Bills fan posts you guys do.

CHRISTINE

Don’t boo me—I’m not Clay Travis.

Awful news for Washington sports fans. First they lose the Supersonics, now this.

Typical RedPUBELickin’! Can’t use facts to back up his clams! Well, my clams are tasty, Get for real son. EAT UP!!!!!!!

I haven’t seen you cite a single source for your trollish claims. I went to the Oxford English Dictionary and produced this!: 

Poker - it’s a fun game where you win money if your hand beats the dealer’s hand.

As you’ll see in my comment, I was referring to poker.

What does semicolon hyphen closed parenthesis mean?

You’re so confused! Let’s go through your anger and confusion line by line.

Poker - a gambling card game in which players try to acquire cards with a face value as close as possible to 21 without going over. 

BECAUSE IT’S FUNNY AS HELL, JOE, AND I’M TALENTED AND SUCCESSFUL