Not only am I not dumb, you’re dumb for suggesting I’m dumb.

Believe whatever you want, buddy.

Mustard is yellow.

Nope, it was Delaware. Look it up, hotshot.

This guy is only famous for filling a stocking with mustard and bankrupting Delaware.

I read on Variety that Jay Cutler is writing and directing and starring in a live-action reimagining of the MTV show Daria.

Alex Ovenchin when you really think about it on account of the heat is on and he has a face, guys.

This punishment seems a little soft to me. If this week has taught me anything, it’s that nothing hurts a Red Sox fan more than being called “racist.”

What you call weird, Wade Phillips may call, “neat.”

I don’t normally wish injuries on athletes, but I can’t wait for this guy to get Garriedoff the field.

Wade—first time/long time. Do you shower in the morning before work, or at night before bed? I’ll hang up and listen.

L.T. Bowling His Load would be a good Kinja username.

I think you just misunderstood me because of my accent. Dock Pin is what it’s called here. It’s a regional thing.

It’s called a “bowling game,” Dom. I prefer dock pin myself but it’s a matter of personal preference.

Yeah, totally. That’s why Exxon Mobil makes 1/2 of what UnderArmour makes...oh wait...

It’s like these idiots don’t understand basic economics! Here’s a little tip, you fucking morons. A supply and demand crash course—are you ready for it? Instead of trying to sell Steph Curry signature sneakers, a product no one needs or wants—maybe try selling a product EVERYONE needs and wants. It’s called the free…

After he won the trial last week! This is why the NFL is so hard on touchdown celebrations. You give these players an inch...

Finally! A cum-positive athlete for uncertain times!

here’s a novel idea, ol’ Richster—maybe put down the bases ball and pick up the base bat!

Gee, seems like a big problem! But uhh, maybe, oh, I don’t know. Maybe why doesn’t old Richie just think about throwing with his other hand?