"I don't give a shit. Remember when we were kids? Wasn't that great?"

Sports can suck man? He's only a child, Tom! I just don't know how Gawker HQ is going to solve this problem; if it's not explicit images and GIFs, it's the disturbing, sexually explicit text.

"He's the rare individual for whom the phrase "living legend" feels like kind of a slight. Bigger than Jesus? Quite possibly. "

"The good old days. I don't mean when guys were hitting 70 hrs in a season, I mean when guys were hitting chicks to keep them in line when they mouthed off and chicks took care of children and knew their place and cooked and cleaned and you could flirt with them in the office without every little handful turning into…

Yes.

I'm sorry I've offended you as a Millenial. Many condolences.

This website is a comedy website, Joe. This is place for jokes.

No.

"Listen Heather, I'm gonna either have to lay you off, or [lowers shades] lay you ON. Wait...no...I mean [raises shades]...Listen Heather, I'm either going to have to lay ON you [lowers shades] or lay you—fuck, that deflated the drama—wait, leave my office and then come back in like you weren't in here already. Yeah,…

A fuck off asshole is a human anus that has been removed via anal sex.

Source?

+1, Joe.

He already had to retire young. Why would you call David Wilson names too? Some people are so rude.

His dream was to rush for 504 career yards? I hope he aims higher next time. Millenials—am I right?

"You don't understand, MOM! Mr. Jones and me, tell each other fairytales. I tell him the Cowboys will win the Super Bowl and he tells me that I keep him from aging."

He is a handsome and talented. I wish him good fortunes.

@BronzeHammer blocked me and I don't know why. I like his jokes. Makes me v. sad.

Can't believe they let Dwight Howard write the script for their Save the Date...

Don't politicians in Ohio have bigger things to worry about than LeBron-themed vanity license plates!?!?!?!?!

This joke is a good joke.