@Hamsterpants: Hell, I consider that a dream concert now — at age 36.

@wordinedgewise: I've read the book, but I haven't seen the movie. From what I remember: Yes, Martin's character is supposed to be that way. It's especially interesting considering Martin wrote the book and screenplay.

@marshmallory - I'M BACK NERDS!: Lucky genes. I know, because I won the genetic lottery and got my complexion from my dad's side of the family.

@wordinedgewise: It makes sense to me. Along with skin and muscle tone, hair is something you wear 24/7; it's logical to take the best care of them you can afford. If you amortize the cost-per-wear of a good haircut, it's a lot cheaper than a trendy skirt you wear only 10-12 times.

@tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler: It could not possibly be any gayer than the Fast & Furious franchise starring Vin Diesel and Paul Walker.

@AndYourLittleDogToo: Damn, I'm even acquainted with 600 people. Including my extended family down to third cousins. Were they handing out invitations to people exiting off the Turnpike or something?

@ToUnfoldThem: ...Because when you bend over, BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU.

Homer's internal monologue talks with itself:

Looks like we all got free tickets to the gun show.

@JerkoftheMonth: But she is "skin-colored" — Oompa-Loompa skin-colored.

@Macloserboy: HA! You just made my morning, sir.

@greengrey: Easy access?

@stacyinbean: Sadly, I think that's the case. I could only tilt my head in a quizzical manner, like a dog does when you ask it a question.

@hello.kitty: The phrase I've always heard re: this phenomenon is "Shit floats."

My coworker's brother was Dangle for Halloween last year, so she showed us the pics he had emailed her. He told her to make sure to tell us he had not used any padding whatsoever.

@lilbobbytables' brain has apparently been consumed by zombi...: At this point, I want Coleman to just STFU and go away. If/when he appeals to the Minnesota State Supreme Court, I want former Minnesota Viking (and current Court Justice) Alan Page to tackle him to the floor of the chamber and throw him outside.

Did you know that you can buy a two-pack of the first two seasons of Remington Steele at Target for $15? YOU'RE WELCOME.

@manbrarian: And she trained as a sniper. She could have ruined his shit from 500 yards.

Freaks flock together and... make all the lesbians scream? What say you, lezebels?

This reminds of the Anderson House Hotel in Red Wing, Minnesota. It was an old hotel (from the nineteenth century) where, if you wanted to, you could have one of the resident cats sleep in your room. There were 9-12 cats, which usually hung in large cubbies in the lobby. People would return year after year, often…