@francofile001: Sing it. That outfit he wears for the Mystery intros is so hot.

When I was a wee Chicklet, I had a pair of pants the same color as Sasha's. Tragically, they were double-knit polyester, because it was 1976.

@BoxMeowBox: ...and by grocked, I mean gagged.

@MrGOH: I know! She had way more important things to do that day!

Yes, this game takes focus away from Charles Taylor, but I don't think it's bad that it slams Campbell. I'm sure the existence of this video game is less of a "terrible inconvenience" than it was to testify in a WAR CRIMES TRIAL.

I saw Winter's Bone over the weekend and it is outstanding, as is Jennifer Lawrence. I'm already hoping for a Gabourey Sidibe-style Oscar campaign for her.

@the glamwich: I think he's either Spanky or Porky.

@MagImpalor: Your vagina is going to ruin everything!

@CatGaffney: Um, I think I love you.

@SomeAuthorGirl: I never thought I could fee so freeeeeee

@prettycool: Earworm! Earworm! Now I'm doomed for the rest of the day!

Leslie Jordan is on a mission to make me happy. Every time we see him, my mom and I say, "Is this your zheeeee-go-lo?"

@precipice: Yeah, I had to apply it morning and night for about a week before I noticed a difference. With regular use, it really would make my skin soft and non-bumpy. Of course, I was only applying it on my upper arms; maybe it takes longer to work on larger areas like the legs? Have you tried AmLactin?

Okay, Dodai, you weren't happy just being my favorite Jezebel staffer, but now your mom is campaigning to be my second-favorite mom in the world? (My favorite mom in the world, of course, is mine.)

@browngirlinthering: And we didn't even get a picture of Tom Clancy, who's apparently involved somehow! I can only imagine the WTF look on his face when he saw who was at the launch party.

@misshistory: I think they were plain, but a couple of the teachers had drilled holes in the paddles for the sake of aerodynamics. No lie.

@jumpingpiglet: There's a product from DermaDoctor called KP Duty that is aces on keratosis pilaris. I use it twice a day in the spring/summer and it does a great job. It contains glycolic acid. It's hella expensive, though, so I also tried AmLactin, which is available at drugstores and contains lactic acid. However,…

When I was in sixth grade (1983), my family moved from Minnesota to Indiana, where corporal punishment was legal in the schools. It was a horrible atmosphere in which to learn. Teachers made references to their paddles as threats for misbehavior. It was like those scenes in Dazed and Confused where the seniors paddle…

@WickedLittleHigh: And McGee is going to hack into the financials and destroy Fox's accounts.

ICING! That was icing! Get some glasses, ref!