Sports questions on Jeopardy give me the only chance to feel as smug as Alex Trebek sounds every day.

Here’s the thing about electing an outsider who is also an idiot. When you have someone with no knowledge base about the Middle East, like the President, then are also dumb enough to appoint your son-in-law to fix it, like the President, we get this. At least if he were humble enough to “know what he doesn’t know” he…

The Red Wings are said to be giving him an allowance of $5 per week on top of his salary.

This is exactly why President Yam could not be President 25 years from now. If everyone in the 80s had cameras in their pocket 100% of the time, there would be 500 carbon copies of this video starring Trump.

Pictured: Dustin Johnson and two 8 balls.

That third goal is the stuff nightmares are made of for keepers. Volley? Check. Screen? Check. Screamer? Check. Into the low corner? Check. Yikes.  

Hot take: Sid’s was worse than Marchand’s. 1. It was from behind. 2. It was more obviously blatant than Marchand’s (Marchand could at least pretend that he was trying to lift the stick). 3. Fuck Crosby.

Great kinja.

This, to me, is where the free market argument falls apart. If I am an insurer, the free market dictates that if you’re sick, I make more money off of you, or you die. How is this an acceptable plan to these people?

Two things about this: 1. I find it exceedingly odd that someone out there is tasked with holding onto 9 year old piss. 2. Dick Pound. New number one seed for 2018 Name of the Year Contest.

Judging based on our President, I would say 1846.

This is the Free Bird effect. You start losing the crowd, and you go straight to the catalog of classics.

And she won’t even have to show up to collect her paycheck!

“It’s wild turkey mating season”

I can’t help but read this writing in this voice:

Has there ever been a professional team paying out more to ex-players than current players? If not, the Padres are going to get damn close.

What happened to donger? I thought we were calling them dongers?

I’m at the game. It was a really strange scene. About to drop the puck and he just went down. I’ve never seen a place get quieter faster.

And he EARNED that A+ (pending the check clearing).