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The Dolphins are the stupidest team in football.

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If there's not gonna be anyone in DUAN right now I figure it's the perfect time to admit that I'm watching Titanic 2 on a Wednesday at 3:30 am.

Yeah I really liked this.

People got shit to do in Miami. It's hard to go to day games AND the night club when you're unemployed.

Wow you're a Marlins fan? Me too. Rare moment of solidarity. I've got a buddy that thinks this and Bell don't make us a better team but I think that's insane. Who cares how much of Loria's money gets pissed away. I'm sick of losing to the fucking Phillies.

You know what other sport is decided by an almighty indiscernible panel of experts and judges without transparency? Figure Skating.

Somewhere, Hanley Ramirez is mumbling about the worst trip to third base since the chocha of that one legged puta who wouldn't let him coger la papaya.

How can the statute of limitations only be 5 years? I am by no means an expert in law, the psychology of abuse, or anything at all for that matter, but it seems like a lot of abused children sit on these emotions for great periods of time because they are so perplexing and difficult to deal with. Most victims only…

I can't help but think this game would be more entertaining if the winning Harbaugh got to give the loser a really vicious Purple Nurple.

Nice.

HEAD MADE OF MEAT: Eventually after drinking nonstop creatine and muscle milk shakes in combination with hitting the free weights for five and a half hours a day not only your body starts to change. I went to my metatarsal trainer Flips Palooka and asked him why I was feeling so light headed and potentially unable to…

Tom Crabtree looks like a violent ritualistic serial rapist. But a friendly one.

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND

He sold a man he'd never met to Australia.

Frenchman Street for bars if you're only on foot. Stay the fuck away from Bourbon Street. It's everything that's awful about drinking and tourism. Also, if you have a chance to make it to the Bywater check out Vaughn's. Great live music. The Bywater will be more local vibed and you get to dust off the gentrification…

Well if this doesn't Gilles de Rais a red flag then I don't know what does.

NOM NOM NIHM NOM