Here’s the simple fact: It’s The New York Times

Mike Huckabee reminds me of that kid you had class with you sophomore year of college in 7th grade.

But really the feud is that Paul started dating John Mayer right after he dumped Boucher, even though they’re both ashamed of that now.

Still can’t get over that the Libertarian poster boy lives in a Gated Community with a HOA.

Paul is 54, which certainly isn’t ancient, but isn’t in the rubber-bone territory of youth, either. We are surprisingly fragile creatures. The news says he was tackled “as” he dismounted a riding lawn mower. My guess is Paul landed on some component of the machine, and the combination of landing at odd angles and on a…

Their feud started when Rand Paul stole his neighbor’s backup dancers. There’s been a lot of bad blood since then.

Thank you also for the much-needed periodic reminder that Mike Huckabee is garbage.

Lover’s quarrel. Who’s with me on this?

“a very regrettable dispute between two neighbors over a matter that most people would regard as trivial,”

My guess is this: They had a fight about something — anything — and both guys have plausible arguments that the other guy started it or touched him first. Paul gets beaten up badly and is embarrassed, but frames it as an attack and hopes it goes away. But when it turns out that his injuries are pretty severe and that…

Sounds like another good show that’s being made with dirty money. [Sighs deeply with conflicted feelings.]

I think we can all agree that this is probably the least surprising of all of the recent revelations.

5. Too busy running the deep state.

We get celebrities coming in for jury duty all the time here in Southern California, but they’re always dismissed because a) they’re distracting and b) they could be seen as unfairly influencing the other jury members. (i.e., and this is not a real example, “Well, if George Clooney thinks the guy did it...”) Also,…

I actually want to serve on a jury which is probably why I never get called in. This is also my theory of why I never win the lottery.

Serious answer? His presence would be too disruptive to the parties; particularly with the Secret Service and all the looky loos.

How is Perez Hilton still a thing? I haven’t given this asshole a thought in ten years. Has anybody?

You only have to graze nuts to make a guy feel like he wants to vomit. But for it to actually trigger the vom reflex, your strike has to be on point, accurate, and either ferociously hard and sharp, or savagely strong and grippy for a few seconds.

Sources told the Times that the woman unlocked her husband’s cellphone while he was sleeping by putting his unresponsive finger to its scanner and going through his messages.