You may take my short-term memory, but you’ll never take my short-term memory.

Even better: Green blaming the attempted dong-icide on his ‘weak core strength.’

My favorite part is that in order to make Draymond Green appear like he doesn’t intentionally kick people in the balls, his coach has to call him a flopper.

I thought all warriors fans were “casual” fans. Nobody knew they still had an NBA team four years ago.

This must be what Cleveland Browns fans feel.

Wait... Is this on the Tom Brady thing, or are they deciding what a catch is?

i found this article interesting and don’t see any issue with it. anyone with half a brain will realize he’s not responsible for his brothers actions, the same way we’ve already forgiven your parents for their transgression.

Taking offense is like building a fence—you have to do it all alone and it takes a lot of time, and the things you think are nails are actually slender dog turds, and you pick them up and you get slender turd on your hands and then who’s gonna give you a kiss at the supermarket? Not Hannah, the twenty-something bag…

Yo, I’m in season right now. I just played a game, I can hardly walk.

I fully expect Nick Saban to come down hard on these two men and dock them a full game’s pay.

Fuck, you’re good. You keep a cloth handy for situations like that? We have one cat, and we can’t keep the damn thing from puking all over the place. The worst thing in the world is when she starts making the noise that you know isn't going to end pretty. You instantly drop whatever is in your hands (my daughter…

The sole use for washcloths in my house is to chase the animals around, trying to hold it under their mouths before they puke so I don’t have to pull out cleaning products and the steamer when they get half on the hardwood floor and half on the area rug.

After Lundqvist? ha, you may have a point.

Leading causes of death in Russia (per capita):

After receiving a signal that “the urines were ready,” the young girl took her place in front of R. Kelly and closed her eyes.

In America, athlete give urine sample for authorities. In Russia, authorities give urine sample for athlete.

The same reason that a blog would ask you to sign up for a newsletter for content?

Obama hasn’t even named a nominee, so republicans haven’t not done anything yet. All they’ve done is say that they oppose the sitting president naming a nominee.

And you’re pretending that democrats don’t do the same thing when they can, dear.

I feel so bad for this guy but I can't stop laughing.