Please continue your series! It's captivating and I find myself not being able to wait for the next installment.

That appears to be a fairly expensive Fleshlight... I assume. I have no idea how much Fleshlights cost...... or what they're even used for. Haha.... ha.

Amazing how forthcoming, honest, stand up, respectful of the law and women's rights the 49ers are... oh, they've been eliminated from the playoffs. Hmm, how convenient.

Hold up, wait a minute, do I see what I think? Whoa...... Did her thing seen shawty get low... Ain't the same when it's up that close

Ah wuv me sum Wusswiwl Wiwlson...

By the power of the Seminol, you are healed and can tackle again!

She looks really exci... he looks really excit... ummm, he/she looks really excited!

It's plays like this that continue to make Eli look like the talented QB he's not. Stop saving his ass and let him shine.

I fucking love Angry Ram! Consider me "marketed to" as well!

I'm confused... don't say anything about our black reporters or we'll ban you for life*.

This guy is on another level. I'll try to explain... see he's, uhh... well, he's trying to... whew... umm, when you're playing tug-of-war with a horse and... yeah, I got nothing.

What's [with all] the square [brackets]?

Well, actually... /pushes glasses up nose.

Good qb? He's accidentally fallen bass-ackwards into two Super Bowls thanks to everyone else on the team. The Eli-Face sums up his overall, total "ability".

How many times do we need to say it? Turn the phone sideways (landscape) when you're shooting video. It makes it so much easier to judge one's over reaction.

As soon as the scoreboard operator heard Peyton's remarks, he emailed his resignation letter. What Peyton wants, Peyton gets.

And fuck myself for creating an account, reading the entire article, logging in, and then commenting. Ignoring something I can't stand is so much more effort.