Poor Doug. I don’t imagine he knew when she signed the contract that he would be on the hook as Megyn’s Relatability Beard or whatever.

“He lunged for my car door.”

Fuck him. He had better be heading to jail after this and I hope he lives a long life.

His hand is not what she’s getting paid to hold.

I also asked her to describe Trump in three words and her response was: “Stupid asshole”

He has but he forgot because dementia.

A few days ago I mentioned I was making a poster to motivate myself to study for the bar. Well guess what?

Fake yeah but the ones we sold were almost $200. And they had one for newborns!

“Spreadsheets, motherfuckers” are truly words to live by.

It’s weird to me how young his hands look compared to his face. That’s the opposite of many people I know.

Oh sure, NOW the republicans believe in science

Tried to dissolve a body in it?

Do you remember in Harry Potter when Voldemort was being really super mean to the Malfoy’s and you were like, “sucks to be y’all. Prolly shouldn’t have hung out with wizard Nazis.”

I’m 38, and have actually decomposed already. It’s ... nasty. And quite hard to type. Anyway, Donald has no chance with that plane, because he is way over 30 and has not aged well. That plane is too classy and beautiful for a guy like DOnald.

I think the only reasonable solution is some kind of no-holds-barred battle royale to the death with the trainers and staff. Just put all 11 orcas and all the people in the pool until only one person or whale is left, then they are king of Sea World.

Shorter version: even this asshole thinks trump is an asshole.

Seriously, fuck Yoo.

debut Feb. 15 at 5 p.m

ANOTHER Godzilla movie? Well, stranger things have happened...