I have *maybe* watched 15 minutes of KUWTK tops over the course of my life, and that was only because it was on the TV at the gym. And yet, I always find myself looking at the criticism they get and going “...really? This is what we’re deciding to be super mad at?” My biggest issues with the sisters are that they…

Coco Chanel — ‘Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. Life shapes the face you have at thirty. But at fifty you get the face you deserve.’

-“American voters’ second-choice, Donald Trump...”

Flaming Hot breakdown.

If that Michigan’s Beaver Island, I don’t think that elector is allowed to take 3 deer during firearm season.

For Delta, it’s incorrigible. I usually have the best experiences with them, and I’m surprised they didn’t do anything.

No but you see, privatization is good! The free market will now put this company out of business! The death of 5 children is a small price to pay for freedom from government regulations

My grandpa’s all-rhubarb pie is the best pie there is.

I could see and hear him doing it - hilarious. Even if he said it to me, i’d laugh. Maybe that guy he played on 30 Rock, who gets away with everything because he’s so good-looking, wasn’t fiction after all.

Jon Hamm had a drinking problem at the time and has sought help for it. Kathy Griffin does not appear to have sought help for being unfunny.

I feel like a drunk Jon Hamm whispering to Kathy Griffin “you’re sooo old” would make me laugh so hard I’d pass out. In fact, if he whispered it to me drunkenly I think I’d throw up from laughing. Something about picturing that seen is really hitting me funny.

You are wrong about everything. You should want cornbread and you should want greens and if they come on a fucking soaked paper plate you eat them and you like them.

Correct. Properly done coffee is worth the $2-3.
Anything besides black is a novelty milkshake.

Kind sir, can you please also eliminate Thursday night football?

See, I actually find Ikea fun. I think of all the college kids with their parents and lovers having arguments milling around the showroom as all part of an elaborate obstacle course to overcome. It’s a challenge, not an ordeal. Huge difference.

I agree with a lot of his artisinal takes, but a good craft brew is amazing. After drinking excellent, flavorful beer, drinking a Bud or Coors tastes like drinking water.

Ooh, you bring up a new dilemma : do you get to go to the Isle of White Rage if you previously claimed your great grandmother was a Cherokee princess?

For people opposed to the “nanny state” they sure are keen on government interference in people’s lives.

I cannot wait until they find out how conned they were. When those manufacturing jobs don’t materialize, when the wall is never built, when their health insurance is stripped and their parent’s Medicare and/or Medicaid benefits are now privatized and so costly they now have to care for them at home because they can no…

My dad is still warring his Hillary pin. My dad went to Vietnam so he isn’t afraid if people say anything to him about it.