This is the darkest timeline

I’d laugh if the entire Wu-Tang Clan bought all the tickets.

More significantly, so does John Lewis.

I can’t wait to see the EPIC balloon drop they have planned for when she wins the election....Bill’s gonna lose his mind!

I love James Corden. He reminds me of a grown-up Teddy Ruxpin.

I imagine myself spitting acid whenever I do that, like a Space Marine, which I know makes me a sad geek but I don’t care.

Actually, it should be ranked at #18, with #17 being “Songs about being hit by my truck”

Saw a Larry Wilmore quote on Twitter today that I feel like covers this pretty well:
“Hillary Clinton lies like a politician. Donald Trump lies like an alcoholic.”

If you think their credibility regarding the truth is comparable -- as you clearly do -- you clearly haven’t been constantly reading anything at all. Like many politicians, Clinton has played it loose with the truth on occasion. Trump constantly and consistently lies about a broad spectrum of things that are basic…

did you not watch 30 rock? NBC has been owned by comcast for years

I’d be happy if they just gave Holt an airhorn he can blast whenever he feels like he’s not getting the truth.

I don’t know how much more of this election my heart can take but I’m still looking forward to this debate. After tho, I might have to tune out for a while.

Here’s the thing; expectations have been set so low for Trump, that if he makes it through the entire 90 minutes without shitting in his hand and flinging it or calling Hillary a c***, much of the coverage will read along the lines of: “In a surprising display of statesmanship and deportment, Donald trump delivered…

Fuck that noise!

we’ll have to revise “bag of dicks” to “old, hoarded, bag of dicks.”

I don’t care about that! The reason to tell the truth is not that it might accomplish some strategic political goal like defeating a particular candidate. The reason to tell the truth is that it is the truth.

Seeing people type “walla” instead of “voila” makes me irrationally angry.

No kidding. I typically don’t wish for November to hurry up and arrive, because I cling to summer and the warm-weather parts of fall as long as I can, but damn it can’t be soon enough.

This ad is for parents. It’s probably a good demographic to target at this stage in the game, considering that busy parents are probably putting more and more thought into their children’s futures.