Called customer service for my life insurance to adjust something. Also during that call, I mentioned that I had a title change; I am no longer “Ms.”. CSR goes “oooooh, did you get MARRIED??!?” all excitedly. I respond: “No, something much harder. Change it to Doctor.” “Oh.”

As someone with experience in the field, is it a red flag for someone like him—-a frat bro in the making who looks like the villain in a John Hughes movie—-to seek out partners who are cognitively impaired?

Bloch made my preferred pointe shoes in my dancin’ days. I had no idea they made street ballet flats. Thanks for the tip!

But the twist would be that trump loses and it turns out that he would have been the only one to be able to save us from mass extinction because a wall between us and Mexico would have kept out the zombie apocalypse.

I have a totally irrational love for the Oceans movies - in particular the second one and it’s amazing soundtrack.

I’m still waiting for “Hogwarts: A History.”

Toaster Strudel is the superior breakfast pastry

I want him to remind me I should check the air in my tires before we go to an early dinner at Chili’s where he totally doesn’t say anything when I order a large margarita.

Tim Kaine isn’t mad at the Republican party, he’s just disappointed.

Why should a school district who’s probably strapped for cash pay extra for a separate employee? That’s why they were looking for one, bilingual person- not an unqualified woman with attitude.

I was way underwhelmed by Zebra cakes the last time I had them (the first time since I was a kid). I remember them being sooooo good... but they tasted like wonderbread dipped in white icing. Or not even icing, but that stuff they put in candy that’s too cheap to be actual white chocolate.

The Barnum’s animals are superior to all other animal crackers, unless we start talking about FROSTED ones, then it’s a whole ‘nother game.

I’ve always been partial to the Iced variety.

STAR CRUNCH MOTHERFUCKER

Dunkaroos were almost the greatest thing ever, second only to these guys:

Original Café Mix or GTFO

Cheddar Goldfish uber alles.

I feel like I heard she was a scotch drinker too because of course she is.

Oh and to add to the feels? My daughter gets to vote for a brilliant, strong, capable woman in her very first presidential election. I will be a hot mess on Election Day. A. Hot. Mess.

Don’t worry, even if it makes me slightly sick to my stomach, I will. I live in a swing state, too, so...