I was born in the late 80s, so these “new-fangled” recommendations came when I was a late teenager. However, if we had actually obeyed what they said at the time—4'10"—I would have been through driver’s training before I would have gotten out of a booster seat. I wasn’t 5 foot tall until I was measured during a sports…

I’m so glad most of the people in my part of the office peace out around 4:30 because this is making me laugh so hard that I’m starting to cry.

Not just that there isn’t enough: what there is is too expensive.

If Trump tweeted about recording conversations without permission and didn’t think that would automatically bring the Nixon Tapes into the conversation, there’s no way he remembers/knows that firing a special prosecutor is a baaaad idea.

Nope.

The Guardian said that he said “President Comey” at one point, which I had failed to catch.

Sometimes it can be a slow crawl. My grandpa was diagnosed with Alzheimers ten years before his death, and he had slipped a bit before that diagnosis. For the first few years it was a creeping progression of forgetfulness: first keys and wallet, then forgetting which month it was, then forgetting historical moments.…

Cosigned.

I said they probably duct-taped him to a chair, and then dangled his precious Twitter Box over a fish tank for extra insurance.

The lab I use to get my bloodwork done always (IE: four times in the last four years) has Fox News on. The only possible reason I can think of is that the vast majority of people getting bloodwork done are over the age of 50?

I remember these tweets the day they happened, but if you had asked me what month they happened in I would have told it is was March.

I read this like someone was sarcastically saying, “Oh, that’s adorable.”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

One of my friends married someone with the same first name as her father. That is a line I could never cross.

I’m glad someone asked this because this is the real question here.

My mom ended up marrying a man with the same name as her brother-in-law, and then gave her son the same name. It almost feels appropriate that a few decades later, I’m dating a guy whose dad also has this name.

This isn’t as bad as dating someone with a family member’s name, but my boyfriend’s dad’s name is the same as my dad’s name, which is also my brother’s name. I also have an uncle with the same name. I’m really not sure how we’ll keep it straight at family functions with a fourth same-name man. We already have trouble…

I was beginning to think I was the only person who did this! Seriously, this is the way to go.

Trump explained a few months ago that he has waaaay too many beloved followers on his personal account; he can’t just up and change accounts now! What about his adoring fans!? They can’t handle a switch!