My brother was fond of the chip-n-cheese: Wonder bread, Kraft singles, Doritos, and covered in ketchup.

Rice with Heintz salad creme is a comfort food for me even though the concept is disgusting sounding.

I didn’t have a non-canned sweet potato or a non-canned mushroom until I went to college, and I’m 29. Looking back I can’t believe that we had fresh green beans or corn. It should have been canned, like everything else we ate.

My dad used to make a recipe he had as a kid: after you flip the hamburger patties in the pan the first time, you toss in two cans of cream of mushroom soup and let them finish simmering in cream of mushroom. It was served on mashed potatoes.

My mom’s side is basically straight German and my dad’s basically straight English, but potatoes. Potatoes everywhere.

This was my first thought.

Canned tomatoes and artichokes for me. Ain’t nobody got time for making those on your own.

I would ask “Are you me?” but it was my dad instead of my mom. Everything he made had something processed in it.

My grandma (she’s 83) had such hooded eyes that they were starting to affect her vision! She had surgery to get them lifted, and it made all the difference in the world. It’s so natural looking that I forget she had that done until someone says something like this and it reminds me.

Oh, it is worth a note that any time my mom and dad go out together, my mother always takes care of the check (she’s always been in charge of the finances in my family; I remember many times my father asking my mother for money to run to the store, which I learned later in life was rather weird, even for the 90s). The…

I would assume she did; even though my mother never waited tables, she’s always tipped over 20% and has always been very understanding. If the food came out wrong or cold, she always made it a point to tell my brother and I that it may not have been the fault of the server, who is getting the tip, so we shouldn’t…

How is it that I’m an atheist and I get this and this goddamned monster doesn’t?

It is a really humbling experience!

I was pretty damn proud of her.

This week I had an old high school classmate (he’s a magnificent human, but I don’t have any experience on how he tips) post to Facebook that he was going to help out his wife’s aunt that night because she was short staffed. He had never waited tables before, and he was nervous.

My father is a good person, but for some reason does not tip well, even though I was a server for six years (and he actually got me that first job!).

That is infuriating. I really hate the greedy, unempathetic position that so many people in our country take. I’m getting really sick of it.

Yeah, the TV theme was made by Elfman, but the rest of properties he listed were movies, so I thought maybe he was thinking of the movie.

Are you talking about Simpsons movie and Pirates of the Caribbean? If so, I hate to inform you that both of those belong to Hans Zimmer.

Hans Zimmer would probably be the next closest, but even then most people probably couldn’t name more than one or two (Inception and Pirates of the Caribbean being your best bets).