she has a child with dream, who also has a child with Nivea, who also has a child with weezy, who is currently banging Christina. If weezy and Christina don't seal that love square with a baby, the universe will be a much duller place.

I love it when people in their 20's think 35 is sooo old, like they would have had such a long career gyrating in their Spanx by then

I couldn't imagine having to sit through as many State of the Union adresses as RBG has sat through. She could take a pillow in with her for all I care.

at my local theatre that could totally happen too. The floors after the movie ends are atrocious.

....hold on spidermonkey.

ask yourself....

Your kids will ask you about vampire sex whether you want them too or not.

I'm just a 30 something used to be total stoner punk. Dude is my fallback because I can never remember anybody's name.

I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt because I use the word dude in common language without regards to gender. I call my daughter dude.

right now Seth Rogen is on the phone with Flea, and he's all "dude-I feel your pain"

oh god! I have a B. Ed too! Imagine that first year. Everybody out to save the children of the world...thinking they know everything about how to do it...

I have a BFA, but I am self aware enough to admit that most of us were complete douches in art school.

Well that's next halloween costume sorted.

The worst part was that he called on a Saturday morning while my parents were out and I was sleeping in, so I was still half asleep when I answered the phone and I didn't really understand what the hell was going on at first, and who this person even was, I thought it was somebody calling to do a survey, after he…

i love Kim K, but who is she kidding here. she and I both know that some of us don't need a furkini to get that bush-

that photo is like cloning gone seriously wrong.

but think of how nicely bound it is...

that's what I thought!

if I was Kim Kardashian I would love being me all the way to the bank too.

yeah. I really can't complain about any of it actually. Not even the rabies shots. Because really. I lived.