Take out from a local chain. Bacon cheddar avocado burger.

Yep. All my Christmas stuff is mocking me. Mocking. Me.

Still just Diet Coke, do not have strep after all, and binging F is for Family on Netflix. Which I probably shouldn’t allow my 10 year old to watch, but that’s why I’m a cool mom. Also Judy Blume mentioned me in a tweet. Judy mother fucking Blume. The year is done for me. Done.

I think that applies to criminal cases, not civil.

Miss USA/Universe is not a scholarship pageant but the Miss America pageant system has for many years been one of the largest private scholarship providers to young women. I believe they spun the swimsuit portion as “athleticism" so take that how you will...

This happened to me today. I'm done. 2016 is awesome.

I like how you work.

Hey. Box wine is a valid life choice. And delicious.

That stuff is dangerously delicious.

Aforementioned 20 year old son is a HUGE Marx Bros fan. Has several DVD collections. I told you, he's a good egg...

It appears to be passing. Amazing what melatonin induced sleep does for healing properties....

That's a filthy, filthy lie.

I seriously cannot wait for that moment. I figure he owes me for all the formula and diaper runs... (I kid. He's a good egg. Wouldn't trade those many Target trips for the world...)

The consolation is that if it is strep, I coughed all over a co worker I don’t like yesterday (Twas my first scheduled day back from Christmas. And had to work today so I got both my holiday days paid)

Diet Coke and my son went to fetch me ice cream (what? He’s 20!) since all Santa gave me was a wretched cold that damn well better not be strep. (Spoiler! I’m 60% sure it’s strep...)

Fucking Dream Killers. I'd totally let you have your cattle prod...

Have you never watched him on the Family Feud? Humiliating people, especially women seems right up his alley...

I kind of love your husband. The Dream Killer also kibashed my brilliant plan until at least taxes come in. Something about feeding our children, paying our bills, blah blah blah.

Apparently per my husband, jumping on a plane and pelting him with pudding cups is “extreme” and “too expensive” and “not possible today”. My husband is a dream killer.

My church is screwed then. Our priests do this stuff pretty often. I can see if this was during a Lenten or Easter Mass, which are more solemn occasions, but GEEZ Arch Bishop of Manila. Make like Elsa & Let It Go! It's Christmas!