You should publish this. I would totally buy a book about your experiences.

Like this only with more out and out stealing of food, I presume.

Possibly staffed by graduates of Los Feliz Daycare?

Ha, that is brilliant in its crazitude. My weirdo restaurant will be called “Misanthropy.” The menu items will be things like “Ugly mac n cheese”, “Terrifying cake,” and “Fucked up fried food platter.”

I recently saw a tv ad for a canned soup that extolled the fact that they use only the breast meat because it has the most flavor, and I just went “That’s not how anything works...”

In a Mexican restaurant.