I’m 42, so I’ve probably already died, naturally mummified, and somehow still kept going on like I’m some sort of living human being.

Ben Carson went to Yale and he thinks the pyramids were built for grain storage.

Nah.

You know, I went and looked it up!

He’s a good teen

Jesus Christ, what an absolute asshole. Way to ruin a night promoting a good cause. I mean seriously, a *store-bought* pie?

Don’t do anything to artificially manipulate interest.

The side-eye Moss gave Dilfer during his Kaepernick rant was the absolute highlight of the show.

It’s where they keep the emergency JackO in the event of a booking problem.

I think the point I’m getting here is that you were shitty at your job.

Yea, becaus when you inexplicably get away with hitting people in the dick time and time again, you should just be able to get away with it forever.

Yep. Has nothing to do with the pattern of Green going after an opponent's nuts.

please apologize for this

Were you not here yesterday? They had, like, four Roger Goodell stories.

How OKC sees Adam Silver and NBA brass

Here’s a preview:

I thought all warriors fans were “casual” fans. Nobody knew they still had an NBA team four years ago.

It's a fabrication about majors. It was a pun, dummy.

maybe the guy doesn’t take himself that seriously and finds it funny...?

This one’s better.